


Damn Squirrels.

by Goodchampagneandprivateplanes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Accident, Car Accident, Drabble, Gen, Squirrels, damned squirrels, officer harry, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 03:23:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6887905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goodchampagneandprivateplanes/pseuds/Goodchampagneandprivateplanes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“No, not quite. Plus, your commentary doesn’t help the situation. You’ve implied that you’re a pole dancer, you know.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Damn Squirrels.

One of Louis’ biggest fears in the world was squirrels. And, quite frankly, that is how he wound up with his car smashed against a telephone pole, an airbag pressed against his face, and with a nice gash on his forehead. 

He pushed the airbag away from his face, his heart still racing. Did he really, honestly, drive into a pole because there was a squirrel? Not because of a squirrel in the street. He wouldn’t have gone out of his way about not killing a squirrel. No. It was because of a squirrel that decided that Louis’ car would be a nice home and decided to start crawling up his leg while he was driving. And that is exactly how he wound up in a telephone pole. 

Of course, it had to be a squirrel. It couldn’t have been _literally_ any other animal. Maybe except a scorpion… or a poisonous spider… but, that’s beside the point, because there was a literal, live, breathing — well, now, a _maybe _alive and breathing squirrel in his car.__

__

__He usually wasn’t one to forget to close his sunroof and make sure that his doors were locked and that everything was ready before heading back inside for the night. But, last night, he was too tired to even think about where his keys were. He had a long day at work, and his boss was getting snippy with him at the end of the night, and somebody had eaten his lunch, and he ran out of gum, and, just in general, yesterday was a shitty day. So, why would today be any better?_ _

__Louis pried open his car door and got out of the car to look at the damage. Yep. There was damage, for sure. His bumper was now laying on the ground and there was a large dent where he hit the pole._ _

__Someone had already dialed emergency services, he assumed, as he heard sirens approach his vehicle. The police officer pulled up behind Louis’ car and got out. He looked at Louis quizzically with an eyebrow quirked._ _

__“So, what exactly happened here?” the cop ask. His badge simply said H. Styles on it._ _

__Louis laughed for a second, before turning into a full-on laughing fit, partially out of stress, partially out of how odd of a story it is. How can anybody truly believe what happened to him?_ _

__“Well, I was driving, officer —“ Louis looked at his badge, “Styles. And then something touched my leg. With my luck, it was a squirrel. I _hate_ squirrels. If it was anything else, I would have been _fine ___. But, I tried to swat it away, and then I ended up around a pole. And not exactly the kind of pole I want to be wrapped around,” he said, cheekily._ _

___Officer Styles started laughing, which surprised Louis._ _ _

___“Aren’t you a cop? Why are you laughing?! You’ve surely seen funnier things than this.”_ _ _

___“No, not quite. Plus, your commentary doesn’t help the situation. You’ve implied that you’re a pole dancer, you know.”_ _ _

___“Oh! No! No! I’m not! Oh my God,” Louis said sharply, turning bright red. What he did in his private time did not need to be brought up now. It was a nervous habit of his to talk much more than he needed to, which usually ended up in him revealing personal details about his life._ _ _

___Officer Styles started writing out his report for the accident, and yet again started laughing._ _ _

___“What now, Officer?!” Louis said, holding back his laughter again._ _ _

___“Just — nothing. I’m professional.” His face turned stoic quickly, but then returned to a smirk. “So, how did a squirrel get into your car?”_ _ _

___“I don’t know. I left the sunroof open. I guess squirrels can get in that way. Unless he found the key and decided to let himself in.”_ _ _

___Styles didn’t laugh at that. Louis’ jokes were falling flat as he started to realize the severity of the situation. He felt the throbbing in his head and felt the blood drip down his face. He quickly wiped it away with his sweatshirt sleeve as the officer finished up his accident report._ _ _

___The officer handed him a copy of the report and a card with his name and phone number._ _ _

___“Feel free to call me any time, when you’re, you know, not wrapped around a telephone pole.”_ _ _

___Louis turned red, thinking about something other than what the officer implied. He looked down at the card. Harry. Harry E. Styles._ _ _

___“What’s that supposed to mean?”_ _ _

___“Don’t worry about it”_ _ _

___Harry drove away and Louis sat on the curb, still halfway in shock. What the fuck was happening today?_ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to post 100 fics in 100 days, which I started on May 10. Feel free to send requests / comment requests. I'll try to do every comment.


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